Finding a mentee

You have recognized that you have a desire to serve the Lord and others, so what is next? Although there are many ways to serve the Lord and others, Active Relational Christian Mentoring (ARCM) is a ministry that suits women, because it can easily fit in with all the other hats of responsibility that women wear. As Christian women, we know, too, that God has given each of us specific gifts that we can use in our Christian life. God has also given each of us various skills, resources, knowledge, or talents that we can share with another woman to help her grow in her own spiritual maturity or to help her lead a more productive life. Whether you are a good hostess, a parent, a career woman, a stay-at home mom, an organizer or leader, you have something that could benefit the life of another woman. Certainly, too, you have the Gospel to share with another woman who may not yet know Christ personally.Whatever you have to share, rest assured that God will help you in the sharing if you truly want to become an Active relational Christian mentor to another woman. What then is the next step in your becoming an active Christian mentor?

Last time, we talked about the importance of prayer in determining whether or not you should become an active mentor. We also talked about how prayer is needed in developing your ability to listen, as listening is a very important part of ARCM. If you are still reading this blog you probably have prayed for God to show you what specific ministry will fit into your daily life and how you can be a blessing for others. If Active relational Christian mentoring keeps coming to the forefront of your mind and if you love to fellowship with other women, then you are probably getting confirmation from the Holy Spirit that this is a service ministry for you. I hope that after reading the last blog that you have also been praying to become a good listener. For you want to be able to be discern and recognize the needs that are spoken as well as the ones that are not spoken by your mentee.

You should also be practicing listening more carefully to the conversations of others without doing all the talking. For sometimes it takes a woman several sentences or conversations to finally express what is of concern to her. Even if you have a hard time at first not doing all the talking, don't become frustrated when listening to the other woman. You will have your chance to talk at the right time. Becoming a good listener may not happen overnight. but if you are truly interested in Active relational Christian mentoring (ARCM) as a service area for you, you will soon discover how easy it is to listen to what other women are saying.

Now it is time to pray for God to direct you to the right woman to mentor. Mentees are all around us. You just may not have looked at the other woman as a potential mentee. However, through your prayers and the Holy Spirit's guidance you will be directed to a woman that could use your expertise in a particular area or to a woman that seems to need someone to talk to or someone to support her in her time of need. We all have been blessed with gifts, talents, knowledge, resources, etc. either through God's specific gifting to us or through God giving us the ability to acquire knowledge, wisdom, information, etc. Sometimes, though, we don't recognize our own abilities, but God always does. So it should not be a surprise that God often introduces us to a particular mentee when we least expect it.

There are three basic ways we can acquire a mentee. The first way is when someone at our church or someone we know tells us that there is a woman in need that we could potentially help. If you have a background in a specific area or on a specific topic, this is not an uncommon way to receive a mentee. For example, if you have dealt with a strong-willed child of your own, or if you have a degree in child psychology, your pastor could ask you to mentor a frustrated mother who is dealing with a strong-willed child. Or if you play the guitar and a woman in your Bible study would like to learn how to play the guitar, you might offer to mentor her. You could also be at work or on the job and your employer asks you to mentor another woman about the job.This occurs often in middle management positions, and although not specifically a Christian mentoring situation, it gives the Christian mentor the opportunity to share the Gospel through her life lived for the Lord.

The second way we can  receive a mentee is through our awareness of a need. In listening to those around you, you may discover that a woman could use instruction, counseling, coaching or support in a particular area whether it is in the emotional, spiritual or natural realm.You know that you could help this woman, and so you start by befriending her. In order to mentor another person, though, a relationship of some kind needs to be developed. Then once a relationship is established, even if it is only an acquaintance type of relationship, you can either offer to mentor her or the mentoring comes naturally as you engage in communication and fellowship with this woman.

The third basic way to acquire a mentee is by listening to the Holy Spirit and then acting upon the direction of the Holy Spirit. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit will direct you to a person that you have never met before, or to a woman that you vaguely know. You are then suddenly prompted to go and speak to her, or the Holy Spirit puts you in close proximity so that you can hear what she is saying to someone else. Either way, the Holy Spirit leads you to the place that you need to be in order to develop a relationship and mentor her.

Obviously, these are not the only ways that a mentoring relationship can be formed, but these are the three basic ways with many different situational variances. Personally, I have been led to a mentee in many different and in sometimes seemingly strange ways: while walking in a swimming pool for therapy; when I had an Insurance company's secretary call me up to ask me a question regarding our insurance, which led to a mentoring relationship with her and ultimately to her Salvation; and when a friend's daughter came to me and asked to be mentored on the Bible after she asked Christ to come into her life. I have also mentored a lady from our small group at church, and even though she has moved away I continue to mentor her as needed. I have mentored other women who I never expected to mentor until a crisis suddenly occurred in their lives. Most recently, I met a lady at the checkout counter in a clothing store who had recently been widowed. We were just talking and suddenly, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to ask her if she would like to go to lunch sometime, so we exchanged telephone numbers. I don't yet know if it will be a mentoring relationship or just the befriending of a lady in need. But, I know that I need to pray about the possibility of her becoming a mentee.

Again, prayer is the key to developing a mentoring relationship and the key to all we do in life. God always has the best in mind for us. We just have to be willing to pray, listen, and obey. Now, it is your turn. Look around you and see if there is anyone that God puts in your path. Pray about what you see and ask for God's help.You Can Do It! You can serve the Lord and others through Active Relational Christian Mentoring.